Archive | May, 2014

HMZ: OPC: “Hatchet Man, Put Up or Shut Up!”

(HMZ) – Yesterday, Hatchet Man alleged to have gained footage of the #IATLChampionship bout between OPC and Dr. Vance, but has yet to release the footage as he stated. OPC believes that Hatchet Man is telling a lie most grand. “Come on, what else does he have to do? Where is this puported footage? I […]

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HMZ: Hatchet Man: “Have I Got the Scoop For You!”

(HMZ Homeland) – Hatchet Man has just contacted HMZ HQ with some important news about the #IATLChampionship! “That’s right my ninjas! If you will recall, Dr. William H. Macy, Jr. is the current #IATLChamp! You are probably wondering exactly how he won the thing, because OPC has kept his mouth shut about it! Well, I […]

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Whoop Whoop!

HMZ: Hatchet Man: “First, HMZ. Then, the World!”

(HMZ) Hatchet Man, who has seen his popularity soar this past weekend after Sulus’s wedding (and going way beyond the levels of popularity he experienced in grade school or high school), has cemented his legacy further this week with the release of a new video. It is a short clip of Hatchet Man, ghost ridin’ […]

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OPC v Hagaki V: The Battle at Mount Sinai

OPC v Hagaki’s final battle!

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HMZ: Michael Ghosty Killed By Hatchet Man?

(HMZ Theatre) – It was revealed tonight at the event of the season, Sulus the Buffalo Herder’s Wedding, that his highly important Grooms Man, Michael Ghosty, was actually killed several years ago! This man of high honor received a solid blow from a sharp metal utensil from the one and only Hatchet Man! At first, […]

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HMZ: John Sbarro Celebrates Sbarro With Sbarro

(Sbarro) John Sbarro of Sbarro, LLC, had a very happy Sbarro birthday and celebration of three years since filing for Sbarro bankruptcy this past weekend at the local HMZ Sbarro. With about 50 kids in tow to sing happy birthday to Sbarro and then eat Sbarro with Sbarro, John Sbarro had a very enjoyable Sbarro […]

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HMZ: Hagaki ATTACKED By Katy Perry’s Sister on Elevator

(HMZ) – Last night, Hagaki was attacked inside of an elevator by Katy Perry’s sister during a gun show attended by Selina Meyer. Both Hagaki and Perry had been at the show to perform for the attendees, but it was unclear why Perry’s sister was there in the first place. Perhaps she was looking to […]

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HMZ: A Secret Abandoned Building in the HMZ Homeland?

(HMZ Homeland) Anyone who travels in the HMZ Heartland, near the Super K-Mart and the old Detroit Door & Hardware, can look up to find a pair of smoke stacks looming behind the senior citizen center. What most people may not realize is that this building may actually be abandoned! It was actually during a […]

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